13 Things I’d do if I won the Lottery

How many times have you thought to yourself, “If I won the lottery, I’d … take all my friends on a cruise; buy a Porsche and live in a mansion; get plastic surgery” – hey, this is you not me! Keep that scalpal away.

I live in a lottery state. Luckily not a Powerball state, because then I’d probably squander all the money I don’t have trying to Hit It Big! but Florida has it’s own nice little state lottery going. Pays between $3 million – $21 million most payouts, although every now and then it’ll go weeks without hitting and pay out big at the end. Not that I pay much attention. Ahem.

And every now and then I get the urge to buy a ticket – always spur of the moment, and always Quick Pick (random numbers). And I always try to stick the ticket in the back of my wallet without looking at the numbers because looking? That would be bad luck. No way those numbers are going to hit if I look at ‘em. (They tell us the money goes to public education, so just think – that dollar you spend on your ticket is buying a kid a book. Or a few pages in a book.)

And then for a day or two I get to think about what I’d do if I won. Ready for this? You might need an extra large cup of coffee to stay awake, because most of this stuff is about as exciting as planning your retirement. Although it’s more exciting to plan a retirement with lottery money than with non-existent money, that’s the truth. Here we go :

1 – Pay off the bills. Mortgage. Cars. Credit cards (luckily only 2 of them, and not with very high balances). Well, there went a big ole’ chunk of that change.

2 – Set up a retirement plan that would let me live to be 110 without worrying about money. According to “The 4 Percent Solution“, I need to put away about $1,625,000 before I retire. Ouch.

Am I done spending my money yet? Depends on how much I won, but if it was a $3 million week and I took the lump sum payout and paid my taxes, I’m way past done. I didn’t even get my retirement plan funded. But that wouldn’t be much fun, so let’s say I won $19 million. Which just happens to be last night’s payout.

3 – How about I start a college fund for the kids. Two kids, two college funds. How much is college going to cost in 5 years? And 13 years? My kids are brilliant, you know. MIT and Duke. Ouch – ok, two big college funds.

4 – The nieces and nephews need a bit of help on their college funds too. Let’s give them a hand. Ten nieces and nephews times …. hey, someone needs to tell my sister there’s other things to do at night. They probably should have told her before she had six kids. Well, let’s put away $25,000 a kid and tell them if they want to go to Duke they better start cutting a lot of grass.

5 – Sis probably needs a vacation from those six kids.

6 – Lil’ sis definitely needs a vacation. I’m sure she’ll bring me back pretties.

7 – Better send my brothers on vacation too. Wouldn’t be right to make them stay at home, just because they’re BOYS.

8 – Mom and Dad, have you found that perfect lakefront retirement home yet?

9 – Would a vacation home for myself be to outrageous? I could sure use a vacation after setting up twelve college funds, paying off a mortgage, and house hunting with my parents. Maybe a little place in the mountains.

10 – I could afford to go to the RWA conference this year! And afford a nanny to take care of the kids for a week while I’m gone. Yee-haw! Ride ‘em cowgirl.

Ahem.

11 – Toy time.

Mmmmm.

Yummmm.

Ohhhh.

12 – Christmas shopping in June! In Hong Kong!

13 – Last but not least, the hubby needs a new toy too. He’s not a gadget kind of guy, so we’ll stick with a classic.

Or maybe this one

- I don’t want him going K-Fed on me and becoming a kept man.

How about you – anything special you’d buy if you hit the jackpot?