Heart attack

I was stunned today to get a phone call, telling me that my favorite uncle* had a heart attack this morning.

For those first seconds, the thought I might loose him was swimming in my mind. Even though sis prefaced her call with “He’s OK now” – for those first moments, all you can think of is “what if he’s not?”.

It was a shock. It’s had me reeling all afternoon. I can’t get out of my mind just how fragile life really is, how tenuous our hold on it, how quickly someone I love can be taken away.

He’s hopefully going to be going home from CCU very soon, with some dramatic changes in lifestyle and diet. But he’s 400 miles away, and I’m feeling that distance more tonight than I have in years.

My family (biological) is all one state, two states, several planes or half a day in the car away. When you get this kind of news all you want to do is reach out and hug them, hold them close and feel the heat of their skin, the whisper of their breath against your hair, the squeeze of their arms hugging you back.

He’s in CCU for at least tonight, and I’m wishing more than ever I’d managed to get my Nero recorder working this week to record his Second Life performances.  Just hearing his voice would make things a whole lot better right now.

So tonight I’m hugging my kids a bit tighter, and telling them I love them a bit more. And everyone out there, wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze, and know that I’m hoping you’re ok and taking care of yourself as well.

And those ice cream sandwiches in the freezer? Why don’t you have a banana instead. You’ll be around for me to love a little bit longer for the effort.

*For more years than I want to admit to, every niece that crawls in his lap (although we’re all a couple of decades past crawling into anyone’s lap, and his lap is not quite as suitable for crawling as it used to be) is his “favorite” niece, and he our favorite uncle. Except I know, of course, I *really* am his favorite. Sorry sisters.