Worst Pizza Ever

I just made the worst pizza ever. I don’t even know what went wrong.

The crust was meh, but the sauce and cheese were horrid. I’ve gotta dig the package out of the garbage, but I’m pretty sure I grabbed fake cheese instead of real cheese – there was not a drop of greasy cheesy goodness to be seen. Five minutes after it came out of the oven, it had a shriveled fake look, and I swear it tasted like eating cellophane.

And my crushed tomato sauce tasted like a tin can.

I’m hoping this extra large glass of eggnog can wash the terrible aftertaste out of my mouth. Maybe a touch of bourbon would help wash it out of my memory as well?